1. They are laughing at me, not with me.
2. I will not fake my way through life.
3. I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes."
4. I will not encourage others to fly.
5. I will not Xerox my butt.
6. I will not instigate a revolution
7. I will not draw naked ladies in class.
8. I did not see Elvis.
9. I will not trade pants with others.
10.I will not drive the principal's car.
11.I will not sell school property.
12.Spitwads are not free speech.
13.A burp is not an answer.
14.I will not belch the National Anthem.
15.I will not grease the monkey bars.
16.I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
17.Hamsters cannot fly
18.I am not a dentist.
19.Underwear should be worn on the inside.
20.I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
21.I will not conduct my own fire drills
22.Goldfish don't bounce.
23.I will not eat things for money.
24.I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call.
25.I will not barf unless I'm sick.
26.I will not carve gods.
27.I will not aim for the head.
28.I will not snap bras.
29.This punishment is not boring and pointless.
30.My name is not Dr. Death.
31.The principal's toupe is not a frisbee.
32.Mud is not one of the four food groups.
33.I will not sell miracle cures.
34.I do not have diplomatic immunity.
35.I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
36.The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan."
37.Garlic gum is not funny.
38.I will not do anything bad ever again.
39. "Bart Bucks" are not a legal tender.
40.I will finish what I star

My favorite are number 3, 24, 28, 36 and 40.:>>